America's most treasured import

Turns out it's immigrant children.

"The study indicates there are significant gains to immigration," says Mr. [Stuart] Anderson.

Indeed, but not in the ways Americans have come to expect. Foreign kids are not just for stitching our sneakers together at pennies on the dollar or filling out celebrity clothing lines anymore--though getting some of those jobs back on U.S. soil would be nice.

We've found a much better use for other nations' children: Intelligence generation. It just so happens that immigrant kids are much smarter than their American counterparts.

Seven of the Top 10 award winners in this year's [Intel Science Talent Search] were immigrants or their children. Of the top 40 finalists, 60 percent were the children of immigrants. And a striking number had parents who had arrived on skilled employment, or H-1B, visas.

This bodes well for America, as immigration numbers have never been higher. The smarties just keep coming. There is every indication this trend will continue. I can think of no resource renewed with such fecundity and vigor as Human beings. New ones keep popping up everywhere.

Even so, immigration is a major (up to 60% yearly) contributor to population growth, which is troublesome. The population of America, like so many other countries in the world, is at its tipping point.

That said, it's pretty obvious what needs to be done. We need to start staging world-wide talent searches within all American-owned sweatshops and munitions factories worldwide. The dumb kids--there will be a few I'm sure--stay where they are. The smart ones get a shiny new life in America.

Conversely, extend No Child Left Behind's standardized testing system to include not just a series of rewards and sanctions for schools, but for the children themselves. The new system will more accurately place kids according to intelligence, and end many long-standing problems.

The smart kids stay and flourish in an American milieu of exploding cultural diversity, while the kids in the lower 60th percentile get to stop school and spend all day laughing with their idiot friends and playing in the mud . . . dy streets of Indonesia, for example, until such time as they can properly sew a Nike care instruction tag into a Dri-Fit pullover.

In the interest of naming veracity, call it: "Dumb Children Sent Away."

This will instantaneously curb the immigration problem, eliminate the need for Affirmative Action, promote understanding amongst cultures and end the worry about rogue states and WMDs, as most remaining citizens won't even be able to correctly pronounce nuclear. The Americans who remain will feel a profound, amost familial, unity, being as they are, the smart ones.

This is really only unfair to the stupid, but not even No Child Left Behind cares about them.